By TOYIN IDOWU
This week, I present to you Mr. Good Ereseh, a certified matchmaker. I decided to do this because I have come to realise that in this our present generation, things are not really the way they used to be anymore because in relationship for example, there is no one size fits all any longer. If people can meet online and have meaningful relationships, then nothing stops us from thinking out of the box to achieve our desired results. I guarantee you that you will enjoy reading my gist with this American certified professional matchmaker.
TIDTo start with, why match making and relationship issues, of all the things we can think of in this life?
GE: Relationship is beautiful, the process of dating and wedding is always beautiful but when its issues starts, many try to avoid them either by dumping their relationships or by sweeping issues under the carpet. I have always felt like I am a solution to people’s love life from my early counseling days and so I had to take further study in relationship science to help solve critical relationship issues.
TID:There is a discipline called relationship science?
GE: Definitely, yes
TID:Tell me a bit about it please and your certification.
GE: Relationship science is a course that matchmakers take to understand how matchmaking works as a profession. This course helps one to learn the basic things about singles lives, their current situations and how one can be of help to them through matchmaking. It also helps one enjoy flexible schedule, the ability to work from home, work for yourself, and be successful as much as you want to be.
Matchmaking provides fulfillment to singles who haven’t been lucky in meeting their preferred matches. I didn’t end my dream in matchmaking in my local set up, but I was curious to know what it takes to introduce singles; either young man or woman. So I decided to further my study with the only school in the world authorized to issue certification in matchmaking. The school named Matchmaking Institute is licensed by the New York Department of Education. As a Nigerian, I am honored to be the first certified matchmaker in Africa by the institute.
TID:If you are to mention one thing that influenced your choice or direction on this, what would that be?
GE: I was influenced by my failed relationships, I am a victim of series of heartbreaks and that pushed me into involving myself in relationship success map. Growing up I learnt a lot about how women’s minds work and this really help me understood what a woman wants and needs in dating.Along the line,I found out that it’s a problem figuring out how a woman feels and responds to certain things. It’s now my job to help both men and women understand each other
TID:In a nutshell, how does a woman’s mind work?
GE: A woman’s mind isn’t designed with confusion rather, there are expectations that most men don’t meet.So often, we men feel that women are confused and unabe to be reached and understood.
TID: In this part of the world, match-making is frowned at. How have you been coping and how does it work?
GE: Nigerians are beginning to buy into the idea of hiring a professional to find their partners for them. We are still bringing out positive views on matchmaking and how swift it works for people who are ready to have a long term commitment.
TID:What are the risks in match making?
GE: The only risk in matchmaking is when you are unable to find a client’s criteria and that is due to them having unrealistic list of expectations, apart from that, matchmaking guarantees security in dating because we do background checks and follow up on all clients who find their partners through us.
TID:What are the skills required of a match-maker?
GE: To be a matchmaker, you must love to help people solve their interpersonal stress problems and help their love life. Anyone can be a matchmaker but to become a professional matchmaker one must undergo a professional training like the one I did.
TID:What are the progress you have made so far?
GE: All of our introductions have been successful, because we hate failed dates so we set up relationship coaching guides for couples to enable them achieve their desired goals. So far, it’s been all success and we have solid testimonies
TID:From your experience, what are the major problems you think are responsible for people not getting their desired spouses?
GE: When people have so much expectations, when they refuse to seek for helps, when they don’t think of coaching, when they don’t have ideas of who they should be dating, when they go into relationship for wrong reasons, when they go into relationship without cogent reasons or purpose, and the list is unlimited.
TID:How do you mean people go into relationships for the wrong reasons?
GE: People are moved to go into relationship for physical lust forgetting that it takes more than just that for one to be involved in dating. One must have a valid need for a relationship which lies on purpose of dating but many of us go into dating maybe because a lady is attractive or a man is handsome and so we want to be a part of their lives without purposes.
TID:You have an event coming up on the 1st of October, let’s talk about it.
GE: It’s a matchmaking platform where working class singles can come in to connect for relationships, to enjoy themselves with uncommon coaching on relationship. They will interact and ask questions about their love lives.
TID:What are the segments of relationships that this event will be focusing on?
GE: There will be jokes by Boma the comedian, there will be matchmaking process, interactive session. We will be talking about trust, moral in dating, values and personalities, communication during conflict and purposes of dating.
TID:Going forward, what should Nigerians be expecting from you in future?
GE: We are planning on making people feel more comfortable in matchmaking, because it has recorded a better success than online dating and blind dates. Matchmaking guarantees a better dating and love life. If someone is not interested in having numerous dates before marriage then he or she should think of matchmaking because we only connect clients that are relationship oriented with great values.
Keep a date with the author every Thursday on Reality with Toyin Idowu on ExpressNG Follow him on twitter @ThoyinIdowu Or visit www.toyinidowu.blogspot.com