By STELLA OBOMANU, with additional Reports
When it comes to cheating in relationships, I don’t believe there are any definitive or set clues. He could be working late, or cheating late. He could be dressing up for you or his mistress. Sadly, that’s what makes this cheating so confusing and hurtful. When you trust your spouse, you trust his explanations. But there are always certain things that get our antennae up and trust me sister, they don’t seem to change much over the years, although with the advent of technology, those little hints now seem to involve a lot more cellphones and social media and a lot less lipstick on the collar. Here are 10 classic signs your man might be cheating.
He starts dressing better.
Did your man suddenly morph from baggy shirts, fades jeans and dirty boots to smart suits and shiny loafers? You should be worried, I mean, why he sudden change? I’d also add that if he starts wearing cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new. Could be a sign the mistress or side chick gave him a bottle that she likes better.
Guarding the cellphone.
This is one I’ve heard a lot in my girlfriend circles; if he suddenly starts sleeping with the phone by his bedside, or taking it into the shower with him, there is something wrong. He may also turn it off when you’re together under the guise that he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s with you while all he is trying to avoid is the of risk her texting or calling while you’re there. If he won’t even let you touch his phone, girl, sumpthin’ up.
Password protecting everything.
It’s prudent to password protect your phone and other devices in this day and age, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Oh and if he refuses to give you the password he is definitely doing something wrong.
He begins making hurtful remarks about you.
Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy. This way if he ever gets caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting!
He begins to drop a female name into his conversations.
I’ve heard this one before, that a guy having an affair will start bringing up a certain woman all of the time. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it. I’d also add that if he avoids talking about a certain woman or say he starts working on a project with a woman but he NEVER mentions her. That’s weird if he’s spending a lot of time with her.
Talking about how “ugly” or “horrible” a certain woman is. This is one I’ve seen a few times a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.
He Becomes a Different Man in the Sack
Both more and less interest in sex can signal infidelity. If he’s suddenly rebuffing your advances when he never turned you down before, he could be satisfying his sexual needs elsewhere. While many couples experience changes in their sexual activity over time, if your spouse is never interested in having sex anymore, you should consider the possibility that he’s having an affair. His mistress may be giving him something sexually that he isn’t getting at home, or because it’s secret and new, it’s more exciting, so he puts all his energy into sex with her. Meanwhile, a sudden increase in his sexual appetite could also be the result of infidelity. “Engaging in sex with a new partner can rev up testosterone, increasing his overall drive. A third party may also be responsible for a sudden interest in experimenting sexually.
His Attitude Towards You Dramatically Changes
Changes in his mood can point to more than just stressful times at work. “Men often get fidgety or irritable when they’re supposed to be in two places at once. If the other woman demands more of his time, he may start arguments with you so he can storm out and rendezvous with her. If he’s not only picking fights, but also criticizing you for things that hadn’t bothered him before, like your appearance, eating habits or intelligence, it’s probably not about the way you chew your food or the 5 pounds you’ve gained, but really about another woman. “Cheating creates a lot of internal turmoil and tension, which gets played out between the two of you. Plus, in order to cheat on someone, you have to be focused on what you don’t like about her. By making that loud and clear, he feels more justified in cheating and less guilty,”
He’s Become Distant
Emotional distance is the number-one giveaway of infidelity, because it’s hard to be emotionally invested in two people at once and to be emotionally intimate with someone while you betray her trust. Most people simply can’t handle the guilt of cheating, so they create space. Plus, distance creates a shield, protecting him from detection—if he doesn’t say much, he’s less likely to say something incriminating,. If your spouse avoids being alone with you and your conversations become purely superficial, he could be pushing you away because he’s growing closer to someone else. Likewise, if he holds back the warm and fuzzies (i.e. he stops saying ‘I love you,’ no longer holds your hand in public or barely hugs you anymore), he could be cutting off his feelings of affection for you, so he can focus on his new partner without feeling as guilty.
Your Gut Tells You Something Is Going On
If you think he’s acting strangely, hiding something or seeing someone else, don’t ignore your instincts. A woman’s intuition is the best thing we go by in our business. She knows all of her man’s aches and pains, when he is mad, happy or lonely, and when he’s there in body but not in mind. She knows when something is not right. In fact, it’s your instincts that will usually help you recognize the signs of an affair. There are almost always clues, because it’s a complicated thing—mentally, physically and emotionally—so it requires a lot of adjustments to pull off. These adjustments will appear as something different about your partner and they may be subtle. That’s why it’s best to trust your instinct that something’s off.